Yeh, like people already said you have made your own style and personally I kinda like it. It reminds me of some kind of action movie.

The chapter this time was pretty nice I think, but somehow it needs more epicness into it. Not to say that this was bad at all but next time you got to write something huge especially if this is the ending battle. I wish you some good luck with it

I've done some sort of CoD board from scratch. I could upload some pics if I can get a digital camera from somewhere.

The plastic ruins are pretty cool IMO but if you want to do something big you really have to get a lot of those sprues and that's not too cheap...

Good writing once again.

I liked the action-movie feeling of the battle with Mordeus, though I'd maybe thought him as a bit more strong opponent. I also like the idea of having a lot of the known 40k special characthers in the story though it might be a bit against the fluff have such a huge amount of marines on a single planet at one time.

By your preview I think the next chapter sounds at least ambitious. Good luck with writing that all properly.

dude, this is Warhammer 40k, the carnifex is done after games workshop stuff, like that below, not just thrown out of the dev team's mind.



(not a link to the gw site if that worked so don't worry anyone)

So if you think the carnifex is a starcraft ripoff go complain GW.

Over 140 pages! :O Man, you've had some serious free time. If the rest is as good as this go try to publish it. It might actually even work.

But as for the story, I liked. Good balance between moving the plot forwards and describing the battle. For a short fan fic this is exceptionally good. As a whole novel, I'd probably go and read it.

This is really good stuff. You've captured really well the epic atomosphere.

As for criticism, listen to Rebellion. There could be indeed a little more detailed battle scenes but if you're working on that anyway...

Once again, I'm waitingt for the next part

Yeah, good job team Knowing that there is already a theoretically playable version is really reassuring.

On the picture, are those mushrooms growing on top of the tyranid tentacle?

Aha, it's the thing you told on irc right?

Thus far I like it, gives a chilly atomosphere. The writing was nice and I especially liked the battle prayer thingy. Hard to give really any critique at this point of the story. I'm waiting for the next part...

I think the idea, if this is a bot, is to get it kinda "in" first and then starting to throw random spammage and ads everywhere. I've seen that happen on other forums before.

yes, and that mob is huge

Good stuff, makes you want to read more

Well, this was epic . I agree with Wulf that it was a good choice to have something else than just pure combat.

The writing was decent and things were clear enough so you didn't have to guess what was happening there. I'm waiting for the next part

Yay, this is very good

If I had HL2 I'd give it a shot though I don't know a thing about mapping

Or then all marines actually are women who got a little more manly features with all that testosterone treatment and call each other brothers just for fun...

Yeah, typing is pretty slow and useless in middle of a combat. Everyone doesn't have a mike though so it would be useful to have some voice commands ingame.

Like Typh said veterans usually know what to do but when some n00b joins in it's damn annoying to start to type a huge message about what to do (especially when it's some dumb kid that doesn't want to learn or can't read)

I believe it's pointless to try to order Wulf retreat from anywhere especially if there's a nice hill, he's going to be alone and a huge number of 'nids is charging at him...

And some kind of voiced commands would be very good IMO. Also some stuff like "enemy spotted" "need covering fire/heavy weapon" or "help needed at <some place>" would be useful.

If everyone is able to use the commands the team will soon find a leader for itself or act incohorently and be massacred.